hon estadj.
1. Marked by or displaying integrity; upright.
2. Not deceptive or fraudulent; genuine.
3. Equitable; fair.
4. a. Characterized by truth; not false. b. Sincere; frank.
5. Of good repute; respectable.
6. Virtuous; chaste.
There was ice clinking in Viggo's glass. And there was another bruise in the seam of his left arm. There was the smell of blood and varnish and another man parked beneath his nails. and there was a look on my face that tried to say: write some more pretentious poetry, you prick. I fucking dare you.
And all this time, it's as if he's been saying back: that's all love really is, stupid.
:::
number two : open : billy to dominic
o penadj.
1. Affording unobstructed entrance and exit; not shut or closed.
2. a. Having no protecting or concealing cover.
b. Completely obvious; blatant.
c. Carried on in full view.
3. Not sealed or tied.
4. Free from limitations, boundaries, or restrictions.
5. Susceptible; vulnerable.
6. Available for use.
7. Not yet decided; subject to further thought.
8. Generous.
You turn towards him to speak and in a flurry of bony arms and glowing skin, he manages to pin you to the door with his hips. One of his hands is pushed painfully up against the small of your back, while the other scuttles across your face like an insect. For an instant you panic, feeling both vulnerable and exposed in the open light of the doorway. You think about the Smithsonian and all their catalogued and cross-categorized animals, dead in glass cases.
You move again to speak, but his hand cups over your mouth to catch the sound. When he pushes against you again with growing urgency, you touch his wrists with your fingertips.
"Oh god," you whisper into his hand in the most sincere voice you can muster. "Oh god, Dom, I love you." Your eyes flutter shut, but you know his are still open--grey and glittering in the yellow porch light. All you can hear is the sound of moths and summer air as he leans into you, murmuring "prove it" into your open mouth.
:::
number three : myopic : dominic to elijah
my opicadj.
1. Of or relating to a visual defect in which distant objects appear blurred
because their images are focused in front of the retina rather than on it;
nearsightedness. Also called short sight.
2. Lack of discernment or long-range perspective in thinking or planning.
Elijah's world is thrown into sharp focus when the headlights of a passing station wagon pull across the windows. The beams momentarily illuminate the dark cabin of his car, and he squints as his pupils dilate to compensate. Above him, Dominic's cheeks flash bright white and pale pink before the shifting lights pull shadows across his face. Elijah can see Dom's eyelashes flutter against his cheeks and then the space between them falls dark again.
Now that Elijah is paying attention, his back hurts--as well as his shoulders--and he is suddenly aware of the painful angle of his hips. He can feel bruises forming beneath where Dom digs his blunt fingers into his thighs and every time he pushes against him, Elijah's elbows thud into where he's braced his head against the car door.
Dominic is speaking in tongues and cursing--the same tainted mixture of inane babble and hushed ferocity that Elijah fell in love with. But he lets the sound of his voice recede into the background and
instead listens to the rain intensify upon the roof of the car, matched by the rhythm of his arms banging against the doorframe.
Elijah is so far gone that he almost misses it when Dom collapses on top of him, whispering words that sound like nonsense but are meant to be love. Instead of answering, he watches the rain trail down the
sweating windows before finally letting his gaze slide out of focus.
:::
number four : mutual : elijah to sean astin
mu tu aladj.
1. Having the same relationship each to the other.
2. Directed and received by each toward the other.
3. Possessed in common.
Elijah only mentioned love when they kissed. The pressure of their lips upon one another always smeared the words "I love you" to sound more like "Fuck you" muttered through a sneer. And every
time, Sean would understand perfectly and whisper "Fuck you" back.
:::
number five : looming : sean astin to christine
loom ingadj.
1. To come into view as a massive, distorted, or indistinct image.
2. To appear to the mind in a magnified and threatening form.
3. To seem imminent; impend.
She is used to the sound of her fingers hissing against her 200-count cotton pillow as she draws it closer. The sheets are vast and cold beside her, and for a moment, she tries to decide whether her bed is too big or she is too small. The early morning light struggles through the Venetian blinds and casts a pink glow on the ceiling and walls.
In her mind, his hand is still brushing against her neck and her fingers are still feeling for the creases of his smile. She turns over several times in the stale sheets in an attempt to fall back asleep before staring at the clock. The alarm won't go off for another 45 minutes and the discomfort in her chest has begun to bleed into her cheeks, making it difficult to think. Pulling the covers over her head, she stuffs a fistful of cotton into her mouth to stop the sound as she blinks tears into her hair. There is too much air in the room for only one set of lungs to breathe.
